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Oh right. I forgot

Kids don't turn rotten just from watching TV.
Posted by Thomas Mass in Boring, Life on May 24, 2016

Don't act so surprised, Your Highness. You weren't on any mercy mission this time. Several transmissions were beamed to this ship by Rebel spies. I want to know what happened to the plans they sent you. As you wish.

All right. Well, take care of yourself, Han. I guess that’s what you’re best at, ain’t it? She must have hidden the plans in the escape pod. Send a detachment down to retrieve them, and see to it personally, Commander. There’ll be no one to stop us this time! I don’t know what you’re talking about. I am a member of the Imperial Senate on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan– She must have hidden the plans in the escape pod. Send a detachment down to retrieve them, and see to it personally, Commander. There’ll be no one to stop us this time!

Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid. You mean it controls your actions? I find your lack of faith disturbing. The plans you refer to will soon be back in our hands.
Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid. I don't know what you're talking about. I am a member of the Imperial Senate on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force. The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers.
No! Alderaan is peaceful. We have no weapons. You can't possibly… I can't get involved! I've got work to do! It's not that I like the Empire, I hate it, but there's nothing I can do about it right now. It's such a long way from here.
Category: Boring, Life Tags: Official, Process
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Thomas Mass

Does anybody else feel jealous and aroused and worried? Bender, we’re trying our best. Perhaps, but perhaps your civilization is merely the sewer of an even greater society above you! Then throw her in the laundry room, which will hereafter be referred to as “the brig”. View all posts by Thomas Mass

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Comments (1)

  1. Thomas Mass says:
    January 22, 2016 at 2:20 pm

    Oh, how awful. Did he at least die painlessly? …To shreds, you say. Well, how is his wife holding up? …To shreds, you say. Who are those horrible orange men? Does anybody else feel jealous and aroused and worried?

    Reply

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